


Phantom Felines

by mewrose



Series: Cat Chat [4]
Category: Persona 4, Persona 5
Genre: Cats, Chatlogs, Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25469602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewrose/pseuds/mewrose
Summary: A silly chatfic where Yu and the Phantom Thieves talk about cats. A lot. There may be pictures.
Series: Cat Chat [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813609
Comments: 34
Kudos: 231





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And now it’s time for the fic you’ve all been waiting for: the Cat Chat fic that’s an actual cat chat! While this is part of the Cat Chat series, there will be few, if any, references to the rest of the story, so it should be able to stand alone. All you need to know is Yu is friends with the Phantom Thieves.

**Cat Quarantine Zone**

**Ren** : I now declare the cat quarantine zone open for business!

 **Ryuji** : Thank God. The main group chat was getting swamped with cat pics.

 **Yu** : I still don’t see the problem with that. You can never have too many cat pics.

 **Ryuji** : But they were drowning out everything else! Hard to find our planning about the next Palace when I have to scroll through a wall of cats.

 **Yu** : I would think it would make for a delightful treasure hunt, full of whiskers and toebeans. 

**Ryuji** : Only because you don’t have to worry about keeping our plans straight!

 **Futaba** : Not like you’re one for planning anyway. You just show up and Joker tells you to hit things.

 **Ryuji** : That ain’t true! I can do plenty of planning stuff!

 **Futaba** : Oh yeah? Like what?

 **Ryuju** : Like…

…

 **Yu** : I just realized I have the perfect nickname for this chat.

**Yu has been changed to Mew**

**Ryuji** : Like planning out training!

 **Ryuji** : Wait what

 **Ryuji** : Why would you do that?

 **Mew** : Because it sounds extremely close to my name. Perfect for a cat chat, right?

 **Futaba** : BAHAHAHA YES! Everyone else needs cat names now too!

 **Futaba** : Ryuji, pick a cat name!

 **Ryuji** : Oh hell no, I’m not going there.

 **Futaba** : Do it!

 **Mew** : Do it.

 **Ryuji** : I won’t and you can’t make me!

 **Futaba** : Mwehehe, you forget who you’re talking to. >:3

**Ryuji has been changed to Mewji**

**Mewji** : The hell?

 **Mewji** : Eff this, I’m changing it back!

 **Futaba** : Can’t, I locked it. You’re Mewji until I say otherwise!

 **Futaba** : And while I’m at it…

**Futaba has been changed to Mewtaba**

**Mew** : Perfect, now we match.

 **Yusuke** : What is going on here?

 **Mewtaba** : Inari, you’re just in time to pick a cat name!

 **Yusuke** : Is that what we’re doing?

 **Mewji** : No we’re not, you don’t gotta do anything!

 **Mewtaba** : Yes you do! If you don’t pick a name, I’ll pick one for you!

 **Yusuke** : I see. Well, the logical choice would be Mewsuke.

 **Mewtaba** : Perfect!

**Yusuke has been changed to Mewsuke**

**Mewji** : Why does everyone’s name start with mew? This is gonna get freaking confusing!

 **Mewtaba** : Not my fault so many of our names start with “yu”.

 **Mewji** : Yours doesn’t!

 **Mewtaba** : Close enough!

 **Ren** : What about me? There’s no yu sound in my name.

 **Mewtaba** : Hmmm…

 **Mew** : Purren?

 **Ren** : A bit of a stretch, but I’ll take it.

 **Mewji** : Not you too!

**Ren has been changed to Purren**

**Purren** : Why not, Mewji? It’s cute.

 **Mewji** : I’m not going to answer to that.

 **Haru** : Oh, me next! What should my cat name be?

 **Mewtaba** : How about…

 **Mewtaba** : Hmm, you’re harder.

 **Mew** : Nyaru?

 **Haru** : Oh, that sounds cute!

**Haru has been changed to Nyaru**

**Mewtaba** : Good thinking, Mew!

 **Purren** : That leaves Makoto and Ann.

 **Purren** : Hey, either of you on?

…

 **Mewtaba** : Looks like a no.

 **Nyaru** : Well, I would hate to leave them out of the fun. Shall we choose names for them?

 **Nyaru** : They can always change them later.

 **Mewji** : I want to change mine now!

 **Mewtaba** : Only if you think up a better cat name!

 **Nyaru** : Why don’t we start with Mako-chan?

 **Mewtaba** : Right, what works for Makoto?

 **Mewsuke** : Meowkoto?

 **Mewtaba** : Excellent!

**Makoto has been changed to Meowkoto**

**Purren** : And last is Ann.

…

 **Mewtaba** : Looks like this one’s a bit hard, too.

 **Nyaru** : Anya?

 **Purren** : Isn’t that an actual name?

 **Mew** : Yeah, I think it’s Russian.

 **Nyaru** : Then how about Annya? Or Nyann?

 **Mewtaba** : NYANN IS PERFECT! WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT!

**Ann has been changed to Nyann**

**Mew** : Excellent, now we’re a whole clowder of Phantom felines.

 **Mewtaba** : Actually, Phantom Felines is a much better name than Cat Quarantine Zone

**Cat Quarantine Zone has been changed to Phantom Felines**

**Mewsuke** : What is a clowder?

 **Mew** : It’s the proper name for a group of cats. And a group of kittens is a kindle

 **Mewsuke** : I had not been aware of this. Fascinating.

 **Nyann** : Why is my phone blowing up?

 **Nyann** : What. What is going on.

 **Nyann** : Who is everyone?

 **Purren** : Just scroll up, the chat isn’t that long yet.

 **Nyann** : Cat names? Can’t I just use Panther?

 **Mewtaba** : Well, that would work, but none of the rest of us are using our code names, and none of them would work.

 **Mewji** : Cats have skulls, why can’t I be Skull?

 **Mew** : It doesn’t sound particularly catty.

 **Mewsuke** : I have to agree, the name Skull does not invoke felines in particular.

 **Mewji** : But we have way too many freaking Mew names!

 **Mewji** : Especially Yu! His doesn’t even look like his own name!

 **Mew** : You know, you’re right. I think I have a better idea.

**Mew has been changed to Nyarukami**

**Nyarukami** : How’s that?

 **Mewtaba** : YAAAAAS!

 **Nyaru** : Excellent choice, Nyarukami-kun!

 **Nyann** : Now we have too many “nya” names, though. I’d rather stand out a bit more.

 **Mewsuke** : Do you have a preferred alternate name, then?

 **Nyann** : Well...we don’t have to stick with cat sounds, right?

 **Nyann** : I wear my hair in twin tails, so maybe Nekomata, like the two-tailed cat yokai?

 **Nyarukami** : Brilliant!

**Nyann has been changed to Nekomata**

**Purren** : See, Mewji? If you get creative, you can pick something cool.

 **Purren** : Actually, I’ve got one for me.

**Purren has been changed to Cat Burglar**

**Nekomata:** The perfect cat name for the head Phantom Thief!

 **Cat Burglar** : Also, Morgana says that if he was in the chat, his name would be Not A Cat, so nobody else can pick that.

 **Mewji** : But he’s not in the chat! 

**Cat Burglar** : Still reserved in his honor.

 **Mewji** : UUUGH fine! Anyone got any better ideas for me?

 **Nyaru** : Well, your Persona is a pirate. Ships often had cats to hunt rats and serve as good luck charms. Maybe Ship’s Cat?

 **Mewji** : I mean, it’s better than Mewji, but I’d rather have something cooler.

 **Nyarukami** : Sabertooth?

 **Mewji** : Woah, that sounds awesome!

 **Nekomata** : Where did that come from?

 **Nyarukami** : Well, I was thinking of cats and skulls, which reminded me of fossils, which reminded me of saber-toothed tigers.

 **Mewtaba** : Eh, a bit of a stretch, but if it’ll get Mewji to stop complaining…

**Mewji has been changed to Sabertooth**

**Sabertooth** : Sweet!

 **Mewtaba** : Anyone else want a name change?

 **Nyaru** : I quite like mine!

 **Mewsuke** : I have no preference.

 **Mewtaba** : And Meowkoto isn’t here to complain. 

**Sabertooth** : Wait, Nyaru is just a shorter version of Nyarukami, that’ll get confusing.

 **Nyaru** : Aw, you are unfortunately correct.

 **Nyarukami** : I like my name, but I’ll change it if you want to stay with yours.

 **Nyaru** : Thank you for the offer, but I would not want to force you to do without something you like. I can come up with something else.

 **Nekomata** : Yeah, get creative! What would you like to be called?

 **Sabertooth** : You can make it really cool!

 **Nyaru** : Well...how about Kitten?

 **Sabertooth** : Why Kitten?

 **Nyaru** : Because it’s cute!

 **Mewtaba** : Fair, cute fits you way better than cool.

**Nyaru has been changed to Kitten**

**Sabertooth:** But now we still have two people whose names start with Mew.

 **Cat Burglar** : Well, Mewtaba and Mewsuke, are you two fine sounding similar?

 **Mewtaba** : Eh, when you put it that way, I could change.

 **Mewtaba** : Anyone have suggestions?

 **Nyarukami** : The “taba” in your name reminds me of Tabby.

 **Mewtaba** : Oh, I could go for that! Reminds me of a nice ginger tabby in the neighborhood, and that matches my hair.

**Mewtaba has been changed to Tabby**

**Nyarukami:** Now I need to meet this ginger tabby.

 **Cat Burglar** : Mewsuke, are you getting the urge to change your name, too?

 **Mewsuke:** I am content with my present nickname.

 **Cat Burglar** : Then we’re all set! Excellent work team, this was a very productive use of our time.

…

…

 **Meowkoto** : What the hell did I miss?


	2. Chapter 2

**Nyarukami** : Hey guys, I saw the most beautiful calico cat today.

**Nyarumami** : [calico.png](https://i.imgur.com/gtA1jf6.jpg)

**Kitten** : Oh I agree, he’s quite handsome.

**Nyarukami** : Actually, she’s most likely female.

**Nekomata** : Really? Why do you think that?

**Nyarumaki** : Because she’s a calico. It’s how the genetics for cat colors work.

**Nyarukami** : The genes for fur color are on the X chromosome. So normally only females, who have two X chromosomes, can have two colors. White doesn’t count, it’s the absence of a color.

**Sabertooth** : What the hell is a chromosome?

**Nekomata** : Did you fail biology class or something? X and Y chromosomes are pretty basic!

**Sabertooth** : Hey, I didn’t fail! I just forgot or something!

**Meowkoto** : Narukami, you implied males can sometimes be calico despite not having two X chromosomes. How is that possible?

**Nyarukami** : If you’re addressing me in the cat chat, use my cat nickname.

**Meowkoto** : I fail to see how that’s relevant.

**Nyarukami** : Come on, it’s fun. And it’s only one more letter.

**Meowkoto** : This is unnecessary, it shouldn’t matter what I’m calling you.

…

**Meowkoto** : Ugh, fine.

**Meowkoto** : Nyarukami, do you need me to repeat my question?

**Nyarukami** : No, that’s fine.

**Nyarukami** : So there are two possible reasons why male cats can be calico. 

**Nyarukami** : One is a genetic mutation, namely if a cat ends up with an extra chromosome that makes them XXY. Because there’s two X chromosomes, they can have two fur colors, but because there’s a Y chromosome, they’re male. Cats like that are typically sterile, though.

**Nyarukami** : The other possibility is if the cat is a chimera.

**Nekomata** : But isn’t a chimera a mythical animal that’s a mix of different animals?

**Kitten** : I believe we’ve encountered Shadows that fit that description.

**Nyarukami** : That’s one definition of chimera. But the scientific definition of chimera is an animal where different parts of it have different sets of DNA, usually because when it was an embryo it ended up combined with part of another embryo. Basically two siblings merged into one.

**Nyarukami** : This can result in an animal that has parts of it that look completely different from each other, and can mean fur patterns that are normally impossible. Like a male cat with two fur colors besides white.

**Kitten** : That is actually quite fascinating!

**Meowkoto** : But how could you tell if a creature is a chimera, particularly if there’s an alternate explanation, like with male calico cats?

**Nyarukami** : In that case, the only way to be sure is genetic testing. But other chimeras you can tell just by looking at them, if there’s no other explanation for the fur pattern.

**Tabby** : Oh, I saw something like that once! A Labrador Retriever that had black and yellow patches.

**Tabby** : mixlab.jpeg

**Nyarukami** : What, a dog in the cat chat? How dare you!

**Tabby** : Mwehehehe!

**Nyarukami** : I must correct this at once with more cat pics. Time to find another chimera!

**Tabby** : Quick, everyone find other non-cat chimeras!

**Mewsuke** : I expect I could find some ancient Greek artwork depicting the mythical chimera.

**Tabby** : Do it, Inari!

**Meowkoto** : I thought we were supposed to use the cat-based nicknames.

**Tabby** : I’m still gonna call him Inari and nobody can stop me!

**Nyarukami** : Here’s a handsome chimera cat who’s black with half a blue face. His name is Narnia!

**Nyarukami** : [Narnia.jpeg](https://www.instagram.com/amazingnarnia/?utm_source=ig_embed)

**Sabertooth** : Hey, that face ain’t blue, it’s grey! It’s his eyes that are blue!

**Nyarukami** : That fur color is called blue in cats, and also in some other domestic animals like dogs and rabbits.

**Mewsuke** : I found an exquisite bronze sculpture of the classical chimera.

**Nyarukami** : It’s caused by a gene that dilutes the black pigment in the animal’s skin and fur. It’s typically impossible to have full-color fur and diluted-color fur on the same cat.

**Mewsuke** :  [ Chimera_di_Arezzo.jpg ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimera_%28mythology%29#/media/File:Chimera_di_Arezzo.jpg)

**Sabertooth** : Why would people call that blue? It makes no sense, just call it grey! 

**Nyarukami** : I don’t come up with the color names, I just remember them. 

**Kitten** : Mewsuke, that’s a wonderful sculpture. I wonder what museum it’s housed in.

**Nyarukami** : That’s not the weirdest one though; a particular shade of brown is called chocolate, and diluted chocolate is called lilac.

**Mewsuke** : The statue is called "Chimera of Arezzo" and it is currently housed in the Museo Archeologico Nazionale, in Florence, Italy.

**Sabertooth** : I mean, chocolate makes sense if it’s for brown. But ain’t lilac a purple color?

**Kitten** : A lilac is actually a type of flowering bush, which can bloom in various shades of purple and white. But it can also mean a light shade of purple.

**Sabertooth** : See! Why call it purple if it’s a light brown? Why not call it an actual light brown color, like tan or something?

**Nyarukami** : It’s probably all for show. Lilac sounds fancier than tan. And the kind of people who came up with color names are the kind of people who’d breed the cats for shows, so they care about appearances.

**Mewsuke** : I would think the colors would speak for themselves. Why should the name of a color change people’s perception of it?

**Nyarukami** : It’s probably more about categorizing and understanding the patterns and genetics. Knowing the names of various paint colors help you find the one you need, right?

**Mewsuke** ; I see...you are correct, knowing the difference between Burnt Sienna and Burnt Umber can make a large difference when seeking to select or purchase the correct paints for a piece.

**Tabby** : Too much art talk, not enough chimeras!

**Tabby** : horsechimera.png

**Tabby** : mousechimera.png

**Nyarukami** : I must counteract these non-cats with more cats!

**Tabby** : budgiechimera.png

**Nyarukami** : fluffycat.png

**Tabby** : dogchimera.png

**Sabertooth** : They gonna be doing this for a while?

**Nyarukami** : toebeans.png

**Tabby** : cardinalchimera.png

**Meowkoto** : Most likely. Best leave them be until they run out of steam.

**Nyarukami** : Monablep.png

**Tabby** : chickenchimera.png

**Nyarukami** : curlywhiskers.png

…

..

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter guest-stars my late cat (the calico) who passed away recently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nyarukami has been changed to Cat Sage**

**Cat Burglar:** Take heed, for today the most noble of cat elders has arrived to bequeath his wisdom upon us!

 **Cat Sage** : Gather round, young ones, and I shall regale you with the tales of my people.

 **Nekomata** : Is anyone else picturing a little old man cat with a huge cane and a long, white beard?

 **Tabby** : Hey, he already has grey hair. If he was a cat, he’d be grey.

 **Sabertooth** : Ain’t that called blue in cats? So he’d be a blue cat, then.

 **Kitten** : You remembered!

 **Sabertooth** : Well, yeah. We had a whole big conversation about it.

 **Meowkoto** : And yet you can’t remember facts from science class that we’ve reviewed three times.

 **Cat Sage** : It just goes to show that everything is better and more memorable with cats.

 **Cat Sage** : Anyway, if I was a blue cat, I’d have to be a Russian Blue.

 **Sabertooth** : You wanna be Russian?

 **Cat Sage** : No, it’s a breed of cat. They originated in Russia and they’re always blue.

 **Cat Sage** : [ Russian Blue ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/russian-blue-nebelung#1_nqkbn04f)

**Mewsuke** : I agree that that breed would appear to represent you very well.

 **Nekomata** : Hey, what do you think Mewsuke would look like as a cat? 

**Tabby** : His Metaverse outfit has that white tail, so maybe something fluffy and white?

 **Kitten** : But he’s so slender that I couldn’t picture him as something too fluffy.

 **Cat Sage** : Maybe a cat with medium-length fur, then? They can have tails that are a bit fluffy while the rest of them looks relatively sleek.

 **Cat Sage** : Like the [ Turkish Van ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/turkish-van) or [ Turkish Angora ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/turkish-angora).

 **Nekomata** : The Angora seems to be the fluffier of the two, so I vote for Van.

 **Cat Sage** : Turkish Vans are a beautiful breed. They’re known for typically being all white with colored markings only on the head and tail.

 **Tabby** : Oh, he could have red markings on his face that look like his Fox mask!

 **Kitten** : And that red ribbon wrapped around his tail, as well!

 **Mewsuke** : While it is appropriate, that would be an accessory on the tail, rather than a marking.

 **Meowkoto** : And how would the ribbon even stay on a cat?

 **Sabertooth** : Do we really gotta be realistic here? We’re just making stuff up, anyway.

 **Mewsuke** : A reasonable point. Very well, then as a cat, I would be a Turkish Van, all white aside from red kitsune mask markings on the face and a red ribbon wrapped around the tail.

 **Kitten** : Say, if cat Mewsuke has an accessory, then Cat Sage should too.

 **Nekomata** : We could go with that giant cane I mentioned earlier?

 **Sabertooth** : Doesn’t feel like that really represents him, though.

 **Cat Burglar** : There’s always his glasses.

 **Kitten** : Oh, yes! That would resemble him quite well, while also looking suitably wise.

 **Cat Sage** : Me as a Russian Blue wearing my old glasses. I could see it.

 **Nekomata** : Now I’m trying to think of what everyone else would look like as cats.

 **Sabertooth** : Hey, if I’m called Sabertooth, then I would totally be a Sabertooth.

 **Meowkoto** : More accurately, the animal is called a saber-toothed tiger, or a Smilodon. 

**Sabertooth** : Whatever. Hey, if we’re not being realistic, then my face could be just bare bone!

 **Mewsuke** : What would you consider the face, exactly? 

**Mewsuke** : Would it just be the area represented by your mask, namely the area around the eyes down to the top of the jaw, leaving the rest of the skull furred?

 **Tabby** : That sounds kinda weird.

 **Cat Burglar** : Why not just have the whole skull be bone, and the rest of the body normal?

 **Nekomata** : I could see that, I think it’d fit you.

 **Sabertooth** : Yeah!

 **Kitten** : Why not give him an accessory as well, to match the other two?

 **Tabby** : Maybe his red scarf thing from his Metaverse outfit?

 **Meowkoto** : I had been thinking the division between a bare skull and the rest of the body would look a bit grisly, so the scarf wrapped around the neck could hide that area nicely.

 **Sabertooth** : This sounds badass!

 **Sabertooth** : Alright, who wants to be a cat next?

 **Tabby** : You all realize we’re basically designing fursonas, right?

 **Mewsuke** : What is a fursona?

 **Cat Sage** : Before anyone asks, it has nothing to do with Personas.

 **Tabby** : Basically some people make up animal characters to represent themselves. 

**Tabby** : They tend to get art made of their fursonas, or sometimes whole costumes, and then they’ll run around at conventions and things playing their character.

 **Cat Sage** : There’s a whole subculture around it.

 **Nekomata** : Hey, what if fursonas _did_ have something to do with Personas?

 **Nekomata** : Like, we could rip off our masks, yell “Fursona!” and turn into cats.

 **Cat Sage** : That would be the best thing ever. I would never stop being a cat.

 **Cat Burglar** : We’d definitely have to say “I am meow, meow art I.”

 **Tabby** : OMG yes!

 **Nekomata** : OK, my turn! As a cat I’d have to be a nekomata, bright red like my Metaverse outfit.

 **Sage** : Long hair or short?

 **Nekomata** : Short. That outfit isn’t exactly baggy.

 **Kitten** : What about an accessory?

 **Meowkoto** : That outfit doesn’t have much in the way of accessories.

 **Tabby** : Unless you count too many zippers.

 **Cat Burglar** : There’s her whip.

 **Sabertooth** : A cat holding a whip? Would she hold it in her mouth or something?

 **Tabby** : Well if we’re making fursonas, she could be an anthropomorphic cat. 

**Cat Sage** : In other words, a two-legged cat person. Think of the typical werewolf design, except a cat.

 **Kitten** : Is that so? I’ve been picturing normal four-legged cats this whole time.

 **Sabertooth** : Same.

 **Cat Sage** : That’s perfectly valid, too.

 **Mewsuke** : In that case, how would a quadrupedal cat manage a whip?

 **Tabby** : Wear it like a belt?

 **Nekomata** : Oh, I like that! So a short-furred red nekomata with my whip wrapped around the waist like a belt.

 **Cat Burglar** : I’ve been looking at pictures of nekomatas just now, and a lot of them have little fireballs floating around them, or the tips of their tails on fire.

 **Cat Burglar** : Fire’s her element. Wanna work that in?

 **Nekomata** : Yeah! The tips of my tails can always be on fire!

 **Tabby** : OK, my turn. I’m called Tabby, and I have long orange hair. So I should be a long-haired orange tabby, wearing a set of headphones.

 **Tabby** : Done. Who’s next?

 **Kitten** : My, that was quick.

 **Cat Sage** : Mackerel or marbled tabby?

 **Tabby** : What?

 **Cat Sage** : Which type of tabby pattern? There’s a few types. The most common are mackerel, which is striped, and marbled or blotched, which is more irregular and swirly. 

**Cat Sage** : [ tabbies.jpg ](http://public.media.smithsonianmag.com/legacy_blog/kaelin6HR.jpg)

**Cat Sage** : There’s also spotted and ticked tabbies, but I expect you meant one of the other two.

 **Tabby** : Huh, didn’t know that, I’ve only seen the striped tabbies. 

**Tabby** : I’ll go with marbled then, it reminds me of my Metaverse outfit.

 **Nekomata** : Hey Meowkoto, what would you want to look like as a cat?

 **Meowkoto** : I guess...something athletic-looking?

 **Sabertooth** : Can cats look athletic?

 **Cat Sage** : Absolutely. There’s a big difference between a sleek, well-toned cat and big fluffy [ Maine Coon ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/maine-coon).

 **Meowkoto** : Right, so something sleek and brown, I suppose.

 **Tabby** : Sounds practical but boring.

 **Cat Sage** : We can make this interesting. How about an [ Abyssinian ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/abyssinian)? 

**Cat Sage** : That happens to be an example of a ticked tabby.

 **Kitten** : Oh my, that has a very wild look to it. It suits you, Meowko-chan!

 **Meowkoto** : Wait, you made a nickname out of my nickname?

 **Cat Burglar** : It’s cute, you should call her that in real life.

 **Meowkoto** : No, that would be embarrassing!

 **Meowkoto** : Anyway, an Absynnian sounds great.

 **Sabertooth** : I gotta agree, that fits. I mean, look at [ this one ](https://vetstreet.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/167768e/2147483647/thumbnail/645x380/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvetstreet-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F0d%2F4b1f209dc511e0a2380050568d634f%2Ffile%2FAbyssinian-3-645mk062211.jpg)! Stick her mask on it, and that’s Queen in cat form!

 **Cat Burglar** : The resemblance is uncanny.

 **Mewsuke** : What sort of accessory would you wish to wear?

 **Meowkoto** : Would the scarf from my Metaverse outfit work?

 **Nekomata** : Sounds good to me!

 **Tabby** : Wait, is everyone else picking cat breeds? I should probably do that too.

 **Tabby** : What’s a good breed for a long-haired orange marble tabby?

 **Cat Sage** : There’s a lot of breeds that could fit that. Do you have a preference on any other traits?

 **Tabby** : Uh…

 **Tabby** : :/ 

**Tabby** : I dunno enough about cats to know what else there is.

 **Sabertooth** : How about something small, since she’s the shortest of us?

 **Tabby** : Hey!

 **Tabby** : ...I guess that fits, though.

 **Cat Sage** : Sure, we can look at small breeds. 

**Cat Sage** : How about a [ Munchkin ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/munchkin)? They have shorter legs than most breeds, so even the biggest of them will look shorter than other cats.

 **Nekomata** : Aw, they have little stubby legs like a Corgi!

 **Tabby** : They are cute. I guess I can go with that.

 **Cat Burglar** : Great, who’s next?

 **Kitten** : Oh, I haven’t gone yet!

 **Kitten** : Can I be a kitten?

 **Sabertooth** : Well, there ain't exactly any rules to this, but it seems kind of weird for you to be a kitten when you’re one of the oldest of us.

 **Kitten** : I suppose that’s true.

 **Kitten** : Well then, I shall look at other small breeds.

 **Nekomata** : Oh, she has to have poofy long hair!

 **Cat Burglar** : She is rather fluffy in real life.

 **Kitten** : Very well then, what small breeds have long hair?

 **Cat Sage** : Hmm. A lot of the smallest breeds are short-haired or hairless, aside from the Munchkin.

 **Cat Sage** : But there’s also the [ American Curl ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/american-curl), which can have short or long hair.

 **Kitten** : Oh my, how charming!

 **Kitten** : Yes, I shall be a longhaired American Curl.

 **Cat Sage** : You could have [ lilac fur ](https://colorgenetics.info/feline/gallery/dilutions-and-modifiers/chocolate/lilac-cat). I think the color matches you quite well.

 **Mewsuke** : I concur that the color suits you.

 **Kitten** : That sounds like an excellent idea.

 **Tabby** : We can still make you look like a tiny kitten by making your accessory look too big. 

**Nekomata** : Like your Metaverse hat, but oversized and half falling off!

 **Kitten** : You all have such wonderful suggestions! I find myself agreeing with every one of them.

 **Meowkoto** : Sounds like you’re settled, then.

 **Sabertooth** : OK, who’s next?

 **Mewsuke** : I believe our leader is the only one remaining.

 **Tabby** : Oh, he’s gotta have shaggy long hair!

 **Nekomata** : No, curly! There’s curly cats, right?

 **Cat Sage** : If you want curly, long fur, it’s gotta be a [ Selkirk Rex ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/selkirk-rex).

 **Sabertooth** : Oh man, that’s totally him!

 **Tabby** : Yeah, stick his mask and red gloves on [ this guy ](https://vetstreet.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0e61224/2147483647/thumbnail/645x380/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvetstreet-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F66%2F26%2F8e590a814e5a8751e5c6208fb3cb%2FSelkirk-Rex-AP-1LXT7L-645sm3614.jpg) and we have cat!Joker!

 **Cat Burglar** : Sounds like you’ve already picked my cat form for me.

 **Kitten** : Oh, did you have something else in mind?

 **Cat Burglar** : Nah, I agree with you guys, so it works out.

 **Mewkoto** : But wouldn’t that mean he has two accessories?

 **Mewsuke** : If there were any among us who would defy the tenuous conventions we have imposed upon ourselves, it would be him.

 **Sabertooth** : Ain’t that the truth. He’s the original rebel!

 **Nekomata** : Then that means we’ve got the whole team decided, right?

 **Cat Burglar** : Not quite.

 **Sabertooth** : Huh?

 **Cat Burglar** : You forgot Mona.

 **Tabby** : Hey, Mona’s already a cat! We know what he’d look like as one!

 **Tabby** : MonaNapping.png

 **Cat Burglar** : True, but I just didn’t want a member of the team to be forgotten.

 **Kitten** : Oh yes, if we’re assembling versions of the team as cats, Mona-chan should be first in line.

 **Sabertooth** : Hey Mewsuke, think you could draw cat-me? I wanna see what that would look like now.

 **Mewsuke** : I admit that I have already been taking notes. The idea is fascinating and I intend to pursue it after a bit of research.

 **Cat Sage** : Do you need to look up more cat pictures?

 **Mewsuke** : Indeed. I require more reference material in order to portray them accurately.

 **Cat Sage** : You know I have loads of cat pictures. Hit me up any time.

 **Mewsuke** : Of course.

 **Mewsuke** : However, I do have a question for Sabertooth.

 **Sabertooth** : Yeah? What’s up?

 **Mewsuke** : As smilodons are an extinct species, there is no consensus on the color of their fur. Do you have a preference on that matter?

 **Sabertooth** : Oh shit, I get to pick that too, huh?

 **Sabertooth** : Uh, maybe tiger stripes?

 **Nekomata** : If you’re basing it off your Metaverse outfit, why not look more like that?

 **Sabertooth** : But that’s mostly just black, though.

 **Kitten** : There is that armor along the back that resembles a spine, with plating along the sides that hints at ribs. Perhaps you could work with that?

 **Sabertooth** : Oh yeah, that’d be cool!

 **Sabertooth** : So like, mostly black, with grey stripes along the back and sides that look like a spine and ribs.

 **Mewsuke** : Understood. I will be sure to stylize the stripes in a most striking manner.

 **Cat Sage** : By the way Mewsuke, if you’re a Turkish Van and also an artist, I think I have the perfect nickname for you.

 **Mewsuke** : What might that be?

 **Cat Sage** : Van Gogh

 **Mewsuke** : That

 **Mewsuke** : is brilliant!

**Mewsuke has been changed to Van Gogh**

**Van Gogh** : I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

 **Van Gogh** : I could not think of a nickname I preferred any more than the one I had been using, but it is clear to me now that I was only waiting for the proper one to present itself!

 **Van Gogh** : I shall endeavor to channel the muse of my new namesake and craft the perfect cat portrait for every one of us!

 **Cat Sage** : You’re welcome, glad I could help.

 **Tabby** : Sooo, with Inari set on a new name, that leaves only Meowkoto with her original cat pun nickname.

 **Tabby** : Any ideas for a new one?

 **Meowkoto** : Do I really need one?

 **Nekomata** : Wellll, you could leave it, but then I’d be tempted to call you Meowko-chan in real life.

 **Meowkoto** : What, no! You wouldn’t!

 **Kitten** : But it’s so cute!

 **Meowkoto** : Not you, too!

 **Meowkoto** : Ugh, fine. I don’t have any ideas, though.

 **Meowkoto** : Maybe something to do with an Abyssinian?

 **Cat Burglar** : Didn’t someone say it looks wild? You could go with Wildcat.

 **Meowkoto** : I suppose that is acceptable. Very well, then.

**Meowkoto has been changed to Wildcat**

**Cat Burglar** : And lo, has the benevolent sage blessed us with profound knowledge of cat breeds! Let us give thanks for his bountiful wisdom!

 **Sabertooth** : Yo, thanks, oh great and powerful sage!

 **Kitten** : Yes, that was quite fun and informative!

 **Cat Sage** : My children, you may call on me any time, as I will forever be glad to share my knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: So, to recap, the group is now:
> 
> Ren: Cat Burglar - a black [Selkirk Rex](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/selkirk-rex) with his red gloves and Joker mask
> 
> Ryuji: Sabertooth - a saber-toothed tiger whose head is just a bare skull, wearing the red scarf from his Metaverse outfit, and his fur is colored black with grey stripes along the back and sides that look like a spine and ribs
> 
> Ann: Nekomata - a short-haired nekomata with bright red fur, wearing her whip as a belt, and the tips of her tails are always on fire
> 
> Yusuke: Van Gogh - a [Turkish Van](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/turkish-van) with medium-length fur, which is white with red markings on his face resembling his fox mask and wearing a red ribbon wrapped around his tail
> 
> Makoto: Wildcat - a dark-colored [Abyssinian](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/abyssinian#1_0rlcvc6j) wearing her Metaverse scarf
> 
> Futaba: Tabby - a long-haired orange marbled tabby [Munchkin](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/munchkin) wearing headphones
> 
> Haru: Kitten - a small fluffy long-haired lilac-colored [American Curl](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/american-curl), wearing her Metaverse hat, except it's too big and half falling off
> 
> Yu: Cat Sage - a [Russian Blue](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/russian-blue-nebelung) with his TV World glasses
> 
> Morgana: theoretically Not A Cat - [looks the same as he always does in the real world](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/2/2d/P5_portrait_of_Morgana%27s_cat_form.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/350?cb=20200610092453)


	4. Chapter 4

**Cat Sage** : I started wondering what Mona would look like as a catbus, so I tried sketching it out.

**Cat Sage** :  [ monabus.png ](https://sta.sh/01z41kvgilst)

**Nekomata** : I didn’t know you can draw!

**Cat Sage** : I can do a lot of things.

**Sabertooth** : Why’s he a bus with a head and too many legs?

**Cat Sage** : Because he’s a catbus.

**Wildcat** : That doesn’t really explain anything.

**Kitten** : Yes, what is a catbus?

**Cat Sage** : ...Have none of you seen My Neighbor Totoro?

**Wildcat** : No

**Sabertooth** : Nope

**Tabby** : I know who the Catbus is.

**Van Gogh** : I have not.

**Kitten** : Me neither.

**Nekomata** : I think I’ve heard of it…

**Cat Burglar** : Yup

**Cat Sage** : Really? How have most of you never seen or heard of it?

**Cat Sage** : We need to fix this immediately. I demand a movie night!

**Tabby** : Binging anime is always a good idea!

**Wildcat** : Is it really that big of a deal that we don’t know this?

**Cat Sage** : My Neighbor Totoro is a cultural icon. It’s the most famous work created by Hayao Miyazaki and his studio, Studio Ghibli.

**Van Gogh** : I feel I have heard that name somewhere before.

**Cat Burglar** : You really don’t know Miyazaki? He’s one of the most famous filmmakers in the history of animation.

**Cat Burglar** : I’d have expected that as an artist, you’d at least have heard of one of the masters of the craft.

**Van Gogh** : My focus is on fine arts, not animation.

**Tabby** : Hey, are you implying anime isn’t art?

**Tabby** : Because I have hundreds of hours of high-quality video that shows otherwise!

**Van Gogh** : I did not say it was not art. Merely that it is not a medium I have given any focus to.

**Cat Sage** : I’m with Tabby on this, anime can absolutely be fine art. 

**Cat Sage** : Ghibli films in particular are gorgeous. There’s a reason he’s so highly regarded.

**Tabby** : Time for a movie marathon!

**Cat Sage** : Exactly! We have to see all the classics. My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Whisper of the Heart, The Cat Returns…

**Cat Burglar** : Are you just naming the ones with cats in them?

**Cat Sage** : ...Maybe.

**Tabby** : Hey, we need to watch Princess Mononoke. You can’t have a Ghibli marathon without it.

**Wildcat** : And while a movie marathon does sound fun, I think three would be about all I can handle at once.

**Cat Sage** : Fine, fine. My Neighbor Totoro, Princess Mononoke, and Kiki’s Delivery Service?

**Tabby** : They’ll do for starters. But we need to see others later!

**Nekomata** : I guess we’re doing a movie night, then.

**Cat Burglar** : And then everyone can see why the idea of cats turning into buses is so widespread in public cognition.

**Cat Sage** : Is that why Mona can become a bus? 

**Cat Sage** : Though Catbus doesn’t turn into a bus, he’s just a cat that’s also a bus.

**Cat Burglar** : Eh, cognition is weird? 

**Sabertooth** : Ain’t that the truth.

**Cat Burglar** : Also, Mona says he’d take offense to the fact that you keep implying he’s a cat, if it didn’t seem like you calling someone a cat is a compliment.

**Cat Sage** : It’s absolutely a compliment. Cats are the best.

**Cat Burglar** : So, everyone good to meet up this Sunday at the hideout?

**Nekomata** : Yup!

**Wildcat** : Alright.

**Sabertooth** : Works for me.

**Kitten** : Oh, I’ll bring snacks!

**Cat Sage** : I’ll pick up the movies. I thought I saw a DVD player in Cat Burglar’s room?

**Cat Burglar:** Yup, DVDs are good. 

**Tabby** : You know I could download high-res files of any movie under the sun, right?

**Cat Sage** : I’ll stick with official versions. I’d rather support the creators, and let you work your computer magic somewhere else.

**Cat Sage** : Besides, the DVDs might have fun bonus features, like concept art.

**Van Gogh** : I am becoming curious if the art quality of these films are as impressive as you claim.

**Tabby** : Trust me Inari, you’ll be thanking us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yusuke absolutely ended up thanking them for introducing him to Ghibli films. He later went with Ren to the Ghibli Museum, which is conveniently in Inokashira Park, and Ren had to dissuade him from buying several Ghibli art books.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during Royal’s third semester and spoils the name of a new character.

**Phantom Felines**

**Sumire has been added**

**Akechi has been added**

**Nekomata** : Welcome to the cat chat!

**Tabby** : I hope you like memes because you’ll be seeing a lot of them.

**Sumire** : Um, I can haz cheezburger?

**Tabby** : That’s a little old, but good effort!

**Sumire** : Thank you! I look forward to having fun with you all!

**Van Gogh** : I do believe we should begin by devising an appropriate screen name for you.

**Sumire** : Oh yes, I did notice everyone’s using different names in this chat. Is there a particular reason for that?

**Cat Burglar** : Nah, it’s just fun.

**Sumire** : Oh, that makes sense. 

**Sumire** : So who’s who?

**Cat Burglar** : Everyone sound off with your code names!

**Cat Burglar** : Joker

**Tabby** : Oracle

**Sabertooth** : Skull

**Van Gogh** : Fox

**Wildcat** : Queen

**Nekomata** : Panther

**Cat Sage** : Jack

**Kitten** : Noir

**Cat Burglar** : And Mona would be Not a Cat if he had thumbs and could text with us.

**Sumire** : How fun, all your names are cat-based! 

**Sumire** : Except Van Gogh. Isn’t he an artist?

**Van Gogh** : You are correct. Vincent van Gogh was a Post-Impressionist painter, best known for his painting The Starry Night, though he produced thousands of other works.

**Van Gogh** : In my case, it is also an allusion to a cat breed, the Turkish Van.

**Sumire** : Oh, that’s very clever of you to come up with a name that references both art and cats!

**Van Gogh** : I’m afraid I can not accept your praise on the matter, for I did not devise the moniker. It was, in fact, Cat Sage who proposed it.

**Nekomata** : He suggested that because besides coming up with cat nicknames, we also decided what each of us would look like as a cat.

**Tabby** : Fursonas!

**Nekomata** : Right, we all came up with cat fursonas. And Van Gogh’s is a Turkish Van.

**Sumire** : Oh, I see! Can I come up with one of those as well?

**Kitten** : Of course! It’s quite a fun little exercise.

**Sumire** : I don’t know where to start, though…

**Cat Sage** : Let’s start with your nickname. It can be anything cat-related, but if you need ideas, we all started with something based off our real names that were turned into cat puns.

**Cat Burglar** : Like we had Mewsuke and Nyarukami.

**Sumire** : Oh, let me see what I can come up with.

**Sumire** : Um...Sumewre? Or if last names are acceptable, Yoshizanya?

**Wildcat** : Do you like either of those?

**Sumire** : ...Not really. They sound a bit awkward.

**Sabertooth** : You don’t have to use a name pun if you don’t wanna. We all switched to something else. 

**Tabby** : Yup, it can be anything at all that’s cat-based. It doesn’t have to relate to you at all, if you want.

**Nekomata** : I picked Nekomata because they have two tails, like my hair.

**Kitten** : I picked Kitten just because it’s cute!

**Cat Burglar** : I figure my inspiration is obvious.

**Sumire** : It sure is, senpai!

**Sumire** : Um…

**Sumire** : How about Acrocat? Like acrobat, but actually a cat?

**Kitten** : Oh, that’s clever! It really suits you!

**Sumire** : Thank you!

**Sumire has been changed to Acrocat**

**Sabertooth** : Yo, Akechi hasn’t said anything. Is he not on?

**Tabby** : Nope, I can see that he’s got his chat app open to this chat. He’s just ghosting us.

**Cat Burglar** : I’d tell you to stop spying on people, but I know you never will.

**Tabby** : Meowth, that’s right!

**Acrocat** : Meowth?

**Cat Sage** : She’s making an anime reference, don’t worry about it.

**Nekomata** : Hey, if Akechi isn’t picking a name, then we get to pick one for him!

**Acrocat** : Will he mind?

**Wildcat** : If he does, he can always tell us later what he wants it changed to. 

**Wildcat** : The same thing happened to me; I was busy when they were all picking names, so they chose one for me and I changed it later.

**Acrocat** : Oh, that makes sense.

**Kitten** : Anyone have ideas?

**Cat Burglar** : Acatchi.

**Nekomata** : That was fast!

**Cat Burglar** : I’ve had that in mind since about that time we started annoying him about cats. 

**Van Gogh** : The pun does fit within his name surprisingly well.

**Akechi has been changed to Acatchi**

**Sabertooth** : Why’d you think up a cat nickname for him that long ago?

**Cat Burglar** : I didn’t come up with it on purpose. But after hearing “Akechi” and “cat” in the same sentence for long enough, they just fit together after a while.

**Nekomata** : I guess that makes sense.

**Acrocat** : So now that I have a nickname, I need a fursona. What did everyone else pick?

**Van Gogh** : I believe the quickest explanation would be to show you the drawing I made of all our cat appearances.

**Van Gogh** : phantomfelines.jpg

**Acrocat** : Oh wow, they suit you all so well! I can tell who’s who right away.

**Acrocat** : So I guess the grey one with glasses is Cat Sage?

**Sabertooth** : It’s blue!

**Acrocat** : Oh, is it? Perhaps the color settings on my phone are a bit off.

**Cat Sage** : No, that breed does appear to be grey, but when you’re talking about cat fur colors, that color is referred to as blue.

**Cat Sage** : The soft brown color on Kitten is called lilac.

**Acrocat** : Oh, I’m learning things already!

**Cat Sage** : All of our fursonas are specific cat breeds. I’m a Russian Blue, and all cats of that breed are blue.

**Acrocat** : Why is your fursona wearing glasses? I don’t think I’ve seen you with any.

**Cat Sage** : I used to wear those when I went to someplace similar to the Metaverse, so I wore them again out of nostalgia the one time I went to Mementos with everyone.

**Cat Sage** : They don’t do anything special any more, but they’re the closest thing I have to the mask or outfit you all have.

**Acatchi** : If you don’t have a mask, then how do you summon a Persona?

**Van Gogh** : He speaks!

**Cat Sage** : Tarot cards.

**Acatchi** : What

**Cat Sage** : If I ever have a reason to fight alongside you, I’ll show you.

**Tabby** : Hey Acatchi, what do you think of your nickname?

**Tabby** : Hey!

**Tabby** : Acatchi?

**Tabby** : Hey, listen!

**Cat Burglar** : I don’t think he’s going to answer.

**Cat Sage** : We could go back to cat breeds. Everyone want to share what breed their fursona is?

**Cat Burglar** : Selkirk Rex

**Tabby** : Munchkin

**Nekomata** : Mine’s not really a cat breed, more of a yokai. A nekomata, obviously.

**Sabertooth** : Like mine’s a sabertooth.

**Wildcat** : That’s a saber-toothed tiger.

**Sabertooth** : Whatever.

**Wildcat** : Mine was called Abyssinian, correct?

**Kitten** : And mine’s American Curl!

**Van Gogh** : As was stated previously, mine is a Turkish Van.

**Acrocat** : How interesting! I’m afraid I don’t know anything about cat breeds, though.

**Wildcat** : Neither did any of us. But Cat Sage is quite knowledgeable about them and helped us in selecting breeds.

**Sabertooth** : I mean, that’s why he’s called Cat Sage. He’s the wisest about cats.

**Cat Sage** : Do you have any ideas on what kinds of features you’d like for your cat? Like, long hair or short hair, large or small, sleek or stout? Or preferences on color?

**Acrocat** : Well, if I’m Acrocat, I guess I’d want something fairly athletic, so sleek would be good. 

**Nekomata** : Didn’t Wildcat want an athletic breed, too?

**Cat Sage** : Yes, and if you like the athletic Abyssinian but would be interested in long hair to match your own hair, there’s the [ Somali ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/somali).

**Cat Sage** : Somalis were originally derived from long-haired variants of Abyssinians before being developed into their own breed.

**Acrocat** : Oh, and I see they come in red, too!

**Cat Sage** : Yup, and they get even more red than the pictures on that site show.

**Cat Sage** : Like [ this one ](https://www.catbreedselector.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Ruddy-Somali-Cat.jpg).

**Acrocat** : I like it! I think that would suit me quite well.

**Tabby** : Now pick an accessory! We all chose one.

**Kitten** : Except Cat Burglar, who’s special and got two.

**Acrocat** : Makes sense that senpai would get a little extra!

**Acrocat** : Let’s see…

**Acrocat** : How about a ribbon tied around my neck in a big floppy bow? Black, like the one I wear in my hair the Metaverse.

**Nekomata** : Nice one! That’d look really good.

**Cat Burglar** : Now it’s Acatchi’s turn.

**Sabertooth** : Yo, Acatchi! You gonna jump in? Cuz if not, we’ll make something up for you!

**Tabby** : We should totally make him Grumpy Cat! Maybe change his name to Grumpy Cat, too!

**Cat Sage** : Making his fursona be an actual celebrity cat seems a little strange.

**Van Gogh** : Though as he is something of a celebrity himself, it would be fitting.

**Cat Burglar** : It’d be rude to Grumpy Cat, though. No need to steal her appearance for someone else.

**Sabertooth** : Her?

**Cat Sage** : I think I mentioned once: Grumpy Cat is actually a female cat named Tardar Sauce.

**Nekomata** : Oh yeah, I kind of remember that.

**Cat Sage** : But if we want a grumpy-looking cat, there are always [ Persians ](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/persian). 

**Acrocat** : Oh, they have rather shaggy hair like he does!

**Kitten** : I believe that is a particularly popular breed, as well.

**Cat Sage** : They also come in two varieties: the show type is extra fluffy with a flat face, and the traditional type has a normal-length muzzle.

**Tabby** : Flat face looks grumpier.

**Wildcat** : And considering he spent so much time on TV, a variety designated for shows is fitting.

**Cat Burglar** : Looks like his actual hair color works for a Persian, too.

**Cat Sage** : So he’s a brown show-type Persian, then.

**Sabertooth** : So what should his accessory be?

**Van Gogh** : Since he has two Metaverse outfits, that gives us more options to choose from.

**Acrocat** : He does?

**Nekomata** : Oh right, you probably haven’t seen his other one. 

**Cat Burglar** : He has two Personas, and two outfits to go with them. For Loki he’s got that dark one, and for Robin Hood he has a white-and-gold princely thing with a red mask.

**Nekomata** : How about the tasseled shoulder pad things from his white outfit?

**Wildcat** : I don’t think shoulder pads would fit too well on a cat.

**Sabertooth** : What about his whole helmet thing from his Black Mask outfit?

**Tabby** : But then you can’t see his grumpy face!

**Van Gogh** : Perhaps one of his capes?

**Nekomata** : Which, the red prince one or the ragged black one?

**Kitten** : Either one would probably need some sort of collar to attach to.

**Cat Burglar** : Why not skip the Metaverse outfits and go with the black gloves he always wears in real life?

**Van Gogh** : That would actually create a fascinating parallel between him and yourself.

**Acrocat** : Oh, I do think that would look nice!

**Cat Burglar** : Acatchi, last chance to speak up or that’s what you’re gonna be.

...

**Cat Sage** : So there we have it, he’s a brown show-type Persian wearing black gloves.

**Tabby** : With resting grump face.

**Acrocat** : Well, Acatchi-senpai may not have joined in, but I had a lot of fun!

**Wildcat** : I’m glad you enjoyed the discussion.

**Sabertooth** : And there’s gonna be a lot more cat jokes in here.

**Kitten** : And cat trivia!

**Cat Sage** : And if you ever have any pictures of cats at all, please share. There are never enough cat pics.

**Acrocat** : I’ll be sure to do that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: So the new members of the group are:
> 
> Sumire: Acrocat - A red [Somali](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/somali) with a black ribbon tied around her neck in a big, floppy bow
> 
> Akechi: Acatchi - a shaggy brown flat-faced [Persian](http://www.vetstreet.com/cats/persian) wearing black gloves


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place near the end of Royal and alludes to events of the true ending, though nothing is stated outright.

**Acatchi has been changed to Schrodinger's Cat**

**Nekomata** : Huh? Where’d that name come from?

**Sabertooth** : And what’s a Schrodinger?

**Wildcat** : Not what. Who.

**Wildcat** : Erwin Schrodinger was a physicist who, in a discussion of quantum mechanics with Albert Einstein, proposed a theoretical scenario that came to be referred to as Schrodinger’s Cat.

**Cat Sage** : In summary, the scenario is: a closed box is set up containing a cat and a device with a flask of poison and a small amount of a radioactive substance. At any random time the radioactive substance can decay, triggering a sensor which shatters the flask, releasing the poison and killing the cat.

**Cat Sage** : Now, the principal of quantum mechanics that Schrodinger was discussing was that an object does not have definite properties until it is observed or measured. With that in mind, then in the thought experiment with the cat, once it’s in the box for a while it is simultaneously alive and dead until you observe it.

**Sabertooth** : ...What?

**Cat Burglar** : It’s a made-up situation where a cat in a box is both alive and dead at the same time until you check on it.

**Sabertooth** : Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?

**Acrocat** : But that’s just silly. Something can’t be alive and dead at the same time!

**Wildcat** : That was actually the point Schrodinger was trying to make. The situation was purposely ridiculous and meant to point out how absurd that interpretation of quantum mechanics was.

**Tabby** : But people liked the idea and now you find references to it in all kinds of media. Games, anime, books, you name it.

**Kitten** : While this is a fascinating theory, I’m uncertain of what it has to do with Acatchi.

**Cat Burglar** : Because Cat Sage pointed out he’s like Schrodinger’s cat. 

**Cat Burglar** : He just kind of disappeared after everything was over. We don’t know what happened to him, so he may as well be both alive and dead until we find out one way or another.

**Nekomata** : Well, I guess that’s true.

**Tabby** : Besides, he’d probably rather be named after an overly complicated theoretical discussion rather than a cat pun anyway.

**Van Gogh** : I concur with that assessment of him. 

**Acrocat** : I wonder what a cat would even look like if it was alive and dead at the same time.

**Wildcat** : I think the whole point is you don’t know if it’s alive or dead until you look at it. So nobody could know what it looks like in that state, because as soon as you look at it, the possibility resolves to either alive or dead.

**Nekomata** : Yeah, but if you _could_ look at it, what would it look like?

**Tabby** : There’s plenty of comics of the idea, but usually stuff like half a skeleton and half not, or an x in one eye and the other’s normal.

**Sabertooth** : Zombie cat!

**Cat Sage** : Hey, your fursona’s part skeleton and part not. Maybe you’re a zombie cat.

**Sabertooth** : Oh, that’d be sweet!

**Van Gogh** : Alternately, a simultaneously alive and dead cat would be a literal phantom feline.

**Cat Burglar** : Except at the same time it’s also literally not.

**Kitten** : Would that mean that it could walk through walls, like a ghost, but get stuck halfway?

**Tabby** : Oh! Maybe it can walk through walls if nobody’s looking, but as soon as someone sees it, it gets stuck!

**Acrocat** : But if it’s a ghost, isn’t it invisible anyway?

**Nekomata** : There’s lots of stories of people seeing ghosts, so they’re not necessarily invisible.

**Wildcat** : Besides, if it’s also alive, then there would have to be a living cat to observe.

**Cat Burglar** : Also, Morgana says nobody better get any ideas about sticking him in a box to try this experiment out.

**Cat Sage** : Because he’s not a cat?

**Cat Burglar** : He’s actually stopped protesting when people call him a cat.

**Cat Sage** : Can I call him a cat, then?

**Cat Burglar** : He says it’s OK if it’s you.

**Nekomata** : Aww!

**Cat Burglar** : And he also says trying something like that experiment would be cruelty to animals.

**Tabby** : What if you set it up with a plant in the box? That’s an alive thing that wouldn’t be cruel to maybe/maybe not kill.

**Sabertooth** : What’d be the point of a plant that’s alive and dead at once?

**Kitten** : Besides which, that can already occur. It’s quite possible to have a plant in which some leaves or branches are dead, while others are alive and perfectly healthy.

**Acrocat** : Oh, then wouldn’t that make them Shrodinger’s plants?

**Nekomata** : Or zombie plants!

**Cat Sage** : Try sticking one through a wall and see what happens.

**Wildcat** : But if you’re watching it, then logically nothing unusual would happen.

**Cat Burglar** : Do we need to set up a situation where we take a half-dead plant, rig it to slide half-into a wall when nobody’s watching, then check on it later?

**Kitten** : I’d be happy to locate a suitable plant if we wished to try it!

**Cat Sage** : But if we don’t do the experiment, then a half-dead plant half-phasing into a wall is both possible and impossible until we try it.

**Sabertooth** : ...Damn, this is getting deep.

**Wildcat** : I’ll admit, I never expected to get into a discussion of quantum mechanics in this chat, of all places.

**Van Gogh** : We are also deviating quite far from the subject of cats.

**Cat Sage** : We could go back to posting cat memes.

**Tabby** : I bet I can find loads of memes about Schrodinger’s cat!

**Cat Burglar** : Time for a meme-off! Everyone, all out attack!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there was nothing but cat memes in the chat for a solid 20 minutes.


End file.
